Yom Kippur fast

Definatley not my first fast, just dobbins of you people are disillusioned. I fasted the entire summer, too, on only water, for 3-5 days twice a month or more. I also went vegan/ raw foods/ vegetarian for weeks at a time. I got pretty skinny. But the actual fasting really hurt so whenever I broke a fast I got really sick, and now I don't really like fasting as much. The Boy agrees, ge thinks I seem really miserable when I fast. The thing is, I'd feel miserable but I'd also feel skinny... I felt so perfect! It healed me for a long time... I had good body image for the first time in a decade, and I ate healthily/ normal amounts when I was not fasting.

But anyway, it's Yom Kippur now, and since my father's side of the family is Jewish, my dad asked me to fast with him. I was, at first, really excited to fast again. But then I got upset because I've only been eating an apple, a serving of veggies, a serving of protien, and coffee for the past week or so, and I can't drink my damn coffee when I'm fasting. (Right now, caffiene withdrawal, it is really sucking.) But I have to remind myself that it's for my religion... It's for forgiveness... And it's only until m dad's birthday party tonight at Sundown. So yeah, I can live 24 hours with food. It's really only 100 calories that I'm used to having that I cant have today, since apple=breakfast and coffee= lunch. So I shouldn't be too upset... Idk why, but I feel mad about it... Eh whatever...

Is anybody else experienced in fasting/ Jewish? :)

PS

And a PS to my last post: I'm officially going back to my days of drinking only black coffee in the morning. I obviously can't handle eating a goddamned apple. So, coffee for breakfast, and bring a dollar at lunch for a re-fill. Get home, drink green tea or more coffee. Eat most of whatever mom cooks, or else she gets upset and on my case. Then, turn on the exercise TV and work out for an hour or two. And drink some more coffee.

Great.

This makes me miserable because I'm empty... But I only feel pretty when I'm empty...

Happiness with an undercurrent of feeling hideous, or tiredness while feeling hot. Hm. I chose option 2. Cause I'm an idiot like that.